In chase for an answer: To be or not to be (living together)?

You are endlessly in love with your partner for years. Does this mean that after a certain period of time, you need to follow social acceptable rules and live together, even when you do not feel up to?

If you still do not intend to live together, the reaction of people  will usually be: „Wow, are you sure you love him?” “Are you sure he is the person for you?” “Maybe you do not love him enough?” “What are you waiting for?“

Are these people right or they are just used to follow some acceptable social patterns?

Why is a shock for some people who live together to hear that someone else is madly in love with some person for years and does not even think to live together with that person? The fact is that we are all different and “living together” in some cases does not necessarily mean, that respect for another socially acceptable behavior certifies to the world, that your love is never stronger.

We used to have three categories of status:single, married and unmarried.Today, in some cases,these communities are obsolete and some new models are emerging,one of them is LAT.

Living Apart Together (LAT) is way of life and it describes couples who have an intimate relationship but live at separate addresses.Somebody calls it historically new family form. LAT couples can pursue both the intimacy of being in a couple and at the same time have their autonomy. Some see LAT as just a ‘stage’ on the way to marriage. People living apart from their partner can be found in all age groups and in all socio-economic groups.
These couples live separately not because they are just starting to date, or they do not want to start a family or they do not have enough money or years. These couples are sure of what they feel, they want to be together and usually are still greatly in love with their partner. They do not live in daily routines, and their physical separation does not include the emotional distance. This unique trend is not related only to marriage couples,but also is related to the long-term relationships.Most often this term and life style is related to married couples who are choosing to live apart after marriage.

I couldn’t help but wonder, during the years how many couples, around me, survived living together. The result is two couples from 10. There are many reasons for this non-traditional living arrangement.

Some people who live this way say that LAT,is improving their relationship in which they are committed,that their relations are full of every day surprises,and both partners are still independent.

Everyday demands of laundry, dishes, cooking, bills and other chores who take away any feeling of romance do not exist in LAT. These persons have and enjoy their personal time and space, but still share many great things.

LAT comes from the UK,where the number of those who are related and live in separate apartments is almost equal to the number of couples who have tradicional cohabitation.

This form of partnership is also growing in other European countries and worldwide. By 2006, in Britain, a majority 54 percent agreed that “a couple do not need to live together to have a strong relationship”.

Famous and celebrity couples have LAT relationships. Woody Allen and Mia Farrow were the first who said publicly that they live together apart. Then, there is Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton… Historically, Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera lived apart, Chopin, philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980) and the love of his life feminist writer Simone de Beauvoir (1908-1986).

The thing is, we have to listen only our inner voice and make our rules. Never let the pressure of society or people around you, make you do the things you are not sure of, or you do not believe in.

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